On Sunday (October 2nd, 2022) we were medically ready to leave the hospital, but we wanted as much time with Abby as possible. We spent the entire day with her. Dessireé asked about having a priest come to bless Abby and she was told he could visit us in the afternoon.
During the morning, the hospital chaplain visited us, said how sorry he was and told us about a similar experience one of his daughters went through. He said as a grandfather he understood the pain we were feeling, since the death of his grandkid was devastating. He told us we weren’t alone. Later that day, the priest blessed Abby.
When we were ready, we asked them to call the funeral home we chose earlier. When they arrived, they put Abby’s body in a little white coffin snugged in her blanket. We also gave them some of her things to take with her to the cremation, including a little rabbit toy with a pink head bow that her grandma crochet for her. Letting Abby’s body go and trusting other people to take good care of her was very difficult, even when we knew she wasn’t there anymore. We closed her little coffin and said our goodbyes.
Having to leave the hospital without our daughter and spending that first night at home just the two of us felt wrong, as being in another dimension… we were used to being three by now.
The next day we visited the funeral home to decide on the cremation details, at that moment we thought we could have the ashes with us that same day, but it wasn’t like that. The first available day was the next Friday (October 7th) at 10 am. It was really painful to think about Abby being by herself in a cold room and her little body deteriorating slowly during all that time…
Seeing Abby that day in her coffin was very hard, the physical changes associated with death were clear. Very carefully, we dressed Abby with her small white dress, we kissed her one last time and said our goodbyes again.
Our family arrived on Wednesday, on a flight from Costa Rica, to support us through this terrible time. We wanted them to meet Abby and hold her, but it couldn’t be. With them, we waited for the cremation day that took place a little bit further away from home than we anticipated, in a town called Danville around 40 minutes drive from home.
Before the cremation we saw her little white coffin once more, covered up with a special blanket that we chose at the hospital. Then her coffin was placed in a big machine. It was such a small coffin.
After the cremation started, we were surprised once more. We couldn’t take her ashes with us until the next Monday because the urn we selected wasn’t ready yet. After talking with them, we decided to accept a “temporary” urn as long as we could take Abby’s ashes with us the next day. We just wanted our baby home.
On Saturday we could at last breath, the funeral home received the selected urn on time after all and we could bring Abby home. Having her ashes with us brought us some peace. We selected a special place at home to put her urn, along with her photo, stuffed animals, books and other memories from the hospital. Giving us a way to have her always close to us.
Our love for Abby will never die.